| Im in ur bbl |
[May. 7th, 2008|04:51 pm] |
Stolen from Phil G. in another forum: LOLCat Bible
Genesis 1-1:
Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem. |
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| Can't make this stuff up |
[May. 7th, 2008|02:32 pm] |
From channel 2:
ATLANTA -- Georgia retailers soon will be banned from selling candy flavored to taste like marijuana to children.
[...]
Senator Doug Stoner pushed the bill in the senate. "I don't think that folks are aware this is going on," Stoner told Channel 2 in April. "It's mainly, from what I can tell, particularly targeted to minority communities."
X-posted to ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) atlanta |
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| Wake me before November |
[Apr. 28th, 2008|05:33 pm] |
"By the time we're finished, people will think Jeremiah Wright is on the ticket"
-- the ghost of Lee Atwater |
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| Supermarket find of the day |
[Apr. 1st, 2008|12:41 am] |
No, it's not from Engrish.com. This was in the "ethnic foods" aisle of whatever they're calling the old Winn-Dixie store now. It's imported from Jamaica. |
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| They call me the Count because ... |
[Mar. 4th, 2008|03:22 am] |
Ganked from ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) curt_holman for folks who have me friended and not him ... i don't know how much overlap there is.
I almost swallowed my tongue. |
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| Obama's dark secret past |
[Mar. 4th, 2008|03:12 am] |
 There has been a lot of flap lately over this photo, allegedly leaked by the Hillary campaign, showing Barack Obama wearing traditional garb on a visit to Kenya a couple of years ago.
The dreaded mainstream media is correct that there is a scandal, but as usual, they are completely missing the point. It isn't Obama's family history or any secret Muslim ties that he's trying to hide ...
( The truth THEY don't want you to know ) |
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| ZOMG! |
[Feb. 12th, 2008|10:37 pm] |
Obama ran the table. He has taken the delegate lead, even with the supers. If momentum counts for much, its direction is clear. The vote is running 3-1 in DC, 2-1 in Virginia, and 2-1 in Maryland, though the crabcake state only has about 9% of the vote in.
On the Republican side, Huck had a good showing the other day, but today, McCain is whitewashing his fence. |
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| meme |
[Feb. 12th, 2008|02:43 pm] |
Tip o' the cap to cyanidefish:
| The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic | 
Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.
But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.
Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski |
Showgirls? Showgirls? I men, did that really become a cult classic while I wasn't looking? |
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| Home health care? |
[Feb. 11th, 2008|01:58 pm] |
My grandmother needs home care from a nurse's aide. My uncle lives with her and can handle the cooking and housekeeping, but he needs help with bathing and hygiene.
The problem is, her current nurse's aide has a three-hour minimum, and the largest agency in town has a five-hour minimum, and she only needs about an hours' worth of work.
I know it's probably a longshot, but does anyone know of an agency that doesn't have a minimum visit, or at least has one shorter than three hours? It would be much better if we could have someone come in for an hour a day five or seven days a week rather than three ours three times a week.
Thanks. |
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| McCain by the numbers |
[Feb. 7th, 2008|04:35 pm] |
Observations from John McCain's speech to the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), which amounts to an early victory speech, since Romney dropped out earlier today in a speech to the same body :
Length of speech: 13 minutes. (without subtracting for applause breaks; rough guess, about 8 minutes of actual content)
Number of times McCain said "my friends": Seven. (lower than his average)
Number of times McCain invoked Reagan: Five.
Number of times McCain used the word "conservative" (or derivatives like "conservatives" or "conservativism"): 14.
Number of times McCain delivered an easy applause line or pandered to the crowd: Incalculable. I just don't have the strength. |
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| Heart-warming story OTD |
[Jan. 24th, 2008|06:35 pm] |
In 1943, Betty Hyde was a small girl injured in the Blitz. When then-Queen Elizabeth -- known to most of us as the late Queen Mother -- visited the hospital, she gave Betty a banana.
This was wartime. Everything was rationed. International trade was disrupted, and it ain't like you can grow bananas in Britain. It was a rare treat, the kind of gesture you never forget. Certainly Betty never forgot it.
Today, Betty Hyde, now 69, was in the very same hospital when Queen Elizabeth II paid a visit. And Ms. Hyde repaid the gift by giving the Queen a banana.
You know. my cynical side wants to say that this was mostly-staged, but the rest of me honestly couldn't care less. |
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| Fluffy white stuff, and no, it's not my dandruff this time |
[Jan. 16th, 2008|09:50 pm] |
Can everyone else in Atlanta please point out that snowflakes fell today? I think I've only heard from half the local population so far.
Don't worry about me. I'll do fine. I ran out an picked up three gallons of bread and five loaves of milk. No, wait -- scratch that. Reverse it. |
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| The official 2008 election drinking game |
[Jan. 15th, 2008|09:57 pm] |
WARNING: This is not for those who don't want to get knee-walking, tumble-down, ass-face kind of wasted.
Drink once if:
- Any candidate utters the word "change."
- John McCain says "my friends."
- Thompson says, "That dog won't hunt."
- Giuliani mentions 9/11
- Hilary gets weepy
- Kucinich says something loopy
- Gravel or Keyes appear at all.
Drink twice if::
- Any candidate describes him/herself as an "agent of change"
- Kucinich describes himself as an agent of the Greys.
- Thompson calls his agent.
- Hillary calls her husband "a hard dog to keep on the porch"
- Any candidate -- other than their husbands -- refers to Mrs. Kucinich or Mrs. Thompson and uses the word "hard."
Chug if:
- Romney pulls over the bus to grab an Irish Coffee and a pack of Marlboros.
- McCain talks about trading hand jobs for an extra bowl of rice at the Hanoi Hilton.
- Huckabee whitewashes a fence.
- Hillary displays an authentic human emotion.
- Obama says "f'shizzle"
- Edwards has a hair out of place.
- Wolf Blitzer drops the F-bomb on live TV (laugh, but Bernie Shaw did it).
- Steve Forbes blinks.
I'm buying if:
- Bill Richardson appears on "Mind of Mencia" and whups his ass.
- Romney faces Huckabee in a "crown of thorns cage match."
- Giuliani goes three full days without invoking 9/11.
- Hillary makes out with Ellen DeGeneres. |
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| Attention digital camera owners |
[Jan. 11th, 2008|04:03 pm] |
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Geeks.com has refurbished Seagate 8GB CF microdrives for $22.50. I think those are compatible with all the Canon DSLRs -- if someone knows better, please correct me. |
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| My favorite aliases |
[Jan. 9th, 2008|02:21 am] |
For no particular reason, I've given a little thought to which name I would use if I were ever on the lam. My list:, in priority order
Branson Stoddard.
C. K. Dexter Haven.
Felix Leiter.
Captain Spaulding.
Ashley Wilkes.
Denise del Largo.
Karl Zeiss.
And, of course, Atticus Finch. |
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| Annual meme #1 |
[Dec. 31st, 2007|05:20 pm] |
The first sentence from each month of 2007:
My cell phone has been circling the bowl for a good long while now. The ping from Perth, I expected. But apparently, someone reads my LJ in some place named Mouth of Keswick, New Brunswick (yes, I know that's in Canada). This is a younger me, about seven or eight.. For much of my early life, there was an azalea bush below my sister's windowsill. Who the hell thought, a year ago, that Stabler would be covering for Benson's rage issues? So they're finally airing the last episodes of Studio 60 that are already in the can, as post-sweeps filler. American Joey Chestnut has dethroned six-time champion Takuru Kobayashi of Japan at the annual Nathan's Famous hot dog eating championship. I just learned that David Osier died yesterday. He was 62. So many people ask me, Hey! Notgruntled! How is it that you can walk into a Trader Joe's and walk out with out buying anything?" We had a few seasons of UnStabler, last year we got to see Oliva come unhinged, and now Casey's had her turn to go batshit. For what crimes can you be prosecuted only if you fail? I have just learned that Milo Radulovich has died.
I watch too much television. |
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| Sacrifices |
[Dec. 31st, 2007|03:19 am] |
The next time my father asks me to help him retrieve some vehicle, I will agree. Nod, smile, and hen blow it up with a rocket propelled grenade.
It's easier that way. |
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| Just. Priceless. |
[Dec. 19th, 2007|03:59 pm] |
CNN is running wall-to-wall coverage of a chemical plant explosion in Jacksonville, Florida. They have a woman on the phone from a Holiday Inn near the explosion site. A partial transcript:
KATHY JONES, hotel manager: [...] It blew off the front doors of the Holiday Inn. They were just hanging on the hinges. It didn't bust anything or break the glass, but it blew those doors off.
DON LEMON, CNN anchor: It blew them off?
JONES: Yes.
LEMON: And you're about two miles away?
JONES: That is correct.
LEMON: What did you do?
JONES: (pause) We put 'em back on.
The anchor recovered and the conversation went on, but that answer had me roflmao. |
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